What fascinates me about experiencing other cultures are the everyday norms and rules, some subtle and some obvious, that differ from my own culture. Here are some interesting insights I’ve picked up so far throughout my time in Rwanda. They come from conversations with Rwandans, personal experiences (often in the form of trial and error or faux-pas), and my own observations. I’ve grouped them together under different category headings.
It is considered extremely rude to eat in public; meaning in the street, on public transportation, and sometimes even at large parties where strangers are present. In addition, adults don’t eat in front of their in-laws. In the past, adults didn’t even eat in front of their own children and would often take their food into their bedroom.
Some men will only eat their wife’s cooking and will refuse to eat any food cooked by a housekeeper.
Something that really surprised me is that adults here do not typically eat sweets. They consider cookies, cakes, chocolate, ice cream, etc. to be for children. I learned this the hard way when I gave a batch of homemade cookies to the vendor who gives me free chapatti and brochette, only to find out from a friend later that it was mildly insulting to do so. It’s true, ever since then he just hasn’t been as generous with the free food…
It was said in the past (and sometimes still today) that women are not supposed to eat goat meat, for two reasons: 1) It will make them grow hairs on their chin, and 2) It will make them stubborn. However women tell me that that “rule” was invented by greedy men who wanted all the good meat.
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It is said that if a couple eats their dinner lying down in bed, their children will be selfish.
As is the case in many African countries, being fat is considered a good thing. It reflects wealth and power. It is not uncommon for a Rwandan to pay someone the compliment “you have grown fat!”
Most of the bananas here are mini, about a third of the size of American bananas. They come as a bushel, and sometimes two mini bananas grow to become fused together. If a woman eats a double banana, it is said that she will give birth to twins.
Going out to eat at restaurants is actually a fairly new concept that has only taken hold with the influence of foreigners. In the recent past, if a man or a couple went out to eat, it meant that the wife was a bad cook or that the man did not have a wife at all. Even today there are many Rwandans generally do not dine out, either for financial or cultural reasons.
Rwandans say that if you eat fish brains, the devil will come visit you that night.
Some Rwandans refuse to eat beans because they say that eating beans makes one’s skin become darker. If someone has very dark skin, Rwandans will say that s/he must have eaten a lot of beans.
People say that eating green bananas causes people’s butts to become fat.
Similar to a Jewish dietary rule, it is forbidden to eat milk and meat together.
In the past, it was considered taboo for in-laws to eat at a married couple’s house. It was also taboo for them to stay the night and they would have to find another place in the neighborhood to stay.
If someone is able to creep up behind you and make you bend by pushing on the back of your knees, it means that you can’t make good ugali (a doughy dish made from different types of flour and dipped into sauce).
Rwandans say that drinking milk makes women beautiful. When there is a beautiful woman, Rwandans might say that she must have drank a lot of milk.
If you invite someone or even multiple people out to dinner or drinks, it is expected that you will pay for them. (I learned that one the hard way.)
Two of the main beers here are Primus and Mutzig. It’s said that men typically drink Mutzig and women drink Primus. However I’m partial to Mutzig and one of my good Rwandan male friends is partial to Primus, so I’m not sure how serious that tendency is.
When Rwandans are served a bottle of beer with a glass, they will sometimes pour a few drops into the glass, swish the liquid around, and then pour it on the ground behind them. This serves two functions: it symbolizes sharing the drink with ancestors and also helps clean out the glass.
When a guest stops by for a visit to a friend or family member, it is expected that the host will offer him or her something to drink – most common is Fanta or beer. It is considered very rude to offer water, at least not until the guest has finished the first drink. There is an expression in Rwanda that means something along the lines of “water is empty.” (I find this eschewal particularly ironic in a region that most of the world sees as lacking access to reliable clean drinking water.)
It was taboo in Rwandan culture to eat meat and drink milk at the same time. Unlike today, people do not hesitate to have a plate of meat with a glass of milk.
Rwasamirera notes that the current world relies on scientific proof, adding that there were beliefs that when milk and meat were taken simultaneously, the cow would be affected.
Rwandans traditionally never ate food at public gatherings; they did it only for ceremonial purposes, but otherwise only ate in the privacy of their homes.
Eating wasn’t a big deal to them; they only valued milk because they were too much into pastoralism.
In the early years, tribes never ate animals associated with their clans and to date most Rwandans still believe in the taboo. It was common to find people having local brew parties without food.
During those early days, important occasions in Rwanda involved the ceremonial consumption of alcohol served with roasted meat.
It was also customary to serve milk to guests when they visited a home. Refusing the offered drink was considered a severe insult to the family.
When eating, children shared food from a large tray placed in the centre of them and this strengthened their relationship.
During those days, hosts used to sip from drinks and taste the food first before passing it on to the guests to prove that it hadn’t been poisoned.
Visitors were presented with gifts like sorghum and millet to take with them at the end of their visit.
Traditional Rwandans also depended on eating roasted meat and drinking cow’s blood. The family would kill a cow especially on ceremonial days and relatives and friends were called to share the meat.
A pot of sorghum beer was placed in the centre of the room with numerous reed straws, and people would suckle at the drink and make merry.
Those who were not comfortable with drinking from the same pot were served beer in calabashes.
To date, the taboo of not eating in public has diminished significantly, and restaurants have appeared in most urban and rural areas.
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